I know the tutor told me I’d be accepted because of my qualifications with the podcast and everything, but to actually get this email this morning was something else entirely.

I have been lucky enough to find my passion. Sure, it was while doing another MA that I figured it out, and while the decision to quit that and start afresh cost me around $80,000 and being kicked out of England, in the end, I’d say it’s worth it? Why? Because a lot of people don’t find their niche, their passion, the thing they’re meant to do. Maybe I’m a pessimistic person, that’s definitely possible, but I just know so many people who never found what they wanted to do, and if they did, didn’t go after that. I don’t blame them for the latter, because life happens. Maybe things didn’t work out the way they planned or they got sidetracked or maybe they just didn’t feel they had what it took.

For my part, if I’ve ever wanted to do something, I’ve done it. I never thought I was particularly courageous or driven really, if anything it was more of a Veruca Salt “I want it now!” syndrome than anything else. I wanted to start a podcast, so I did. I wanted to host major events, so I did. I wanted to move to NYC after London, so I did. I wanted to go to Japan, so I applied for JET my senior year of college as well as a dozen other programs. I was accepted. I wanted to go to grad school, so I worked my ass off senior year and applied to grad school. I ended up getting into every single one (which is a mystery unto itself). I had to make the decision between Japan and grad school and in the end I chose Japan under the delusion I’d save money there and would be ready to tackle academia again. Things didn’t work out that way and in the end maybe I should have gone straight into grad school. I do believe I would have finished my MA in Medieval History had I gone straight there. But I didn’t, because I wanted to live in another culture and experience Asia. I wanted to travel.

What I’m saying is, if you want to do something, even if it may end up not being the thing you should do, you should still do it. We have one life to live (probably) and we should fill that life reaching for dreams until our fingers are clasped around them. The fight to get there is never going to be easy. Sometimes it’s dumb luck (ie podcast) and sometimes you have to suffer and then fight tooth and nail and suffer a bit more (ie moving to NYC), but in the end, you’ll have done it, and that’s the best feeling.

So I’m going to be starting on a new journey this coming autumn. I’m hoping to actually start a career after this MA. I’m hoping that the work experience I’ll get with Goldsmiths will help me actually stay in the UK for good this time. It’s my third time going back to the UK for schooling. My third time trying to make it my home.

Third time’s a charm, right?